Stop! Don’t Follow Your Heart.

Stop! Don’t Follow Your Heart.                     



We’ve heard it said, “Follow your heart.” We may have even said it ourselves.

I’ve seen people follow their hearts and jump right off cliffs. You probably have too.


I’ve cried with the bewildered husband of a young mother who followed her heart half way across the country to hook up with her on-line boyfriend. Her little girls couldn’t understand why their mommy was gone. 


I witnessed a man enthusiastically put his entire nest egg into a business opportunity that eventually failed. He lost it all, but was following his heart. 


I smiled at the cuteness, watching a sweet family adopt a couple of adorable puppies they had neither time nor resources to care for. The pups became dogs and were sadly neglected within a couple years, but those parents had followed their hearts.    


When the extra-marital affair of the father of four teenagers was exposed, he lost his home and family, shattering his wife and the vulnerable youth. Besides that, the husband of his mistress kicked her out, leaving her estranged from her infant and toddler. Six children were broken because the guilty pair were following their hearts.


We’ve watched the bride and groom take their vows and wave goodbye, embarking on an amazing honeymoon. The wedding was lavish and fun but the marriage ended in a train wreck just a couple years later. With starry eyes and intense passion, they were following their hearts. 


You know the stories. You’ve witnessed them too in the lives of friends and family—perhaps even in your own experience. Our human tendency is to jump right into situations that excite our hearts.

Photo by Connie Wohlford

The heart is the seat of our emotions. That fact alone could elicit a red flag if we’re paying attention. Our wiser self knows it’s imprudent to make life-changing decisions based on emotions. 


Jeremiah 17:9 warns us: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” This passage should bring pause before we take the J.U.M.P.—Justify Unhealthy Momentary Pleasure. 


So, what are we to do? We’re human beings with human emotions. God made us that way. Yes, He did, but He never intended for us to be dominated by our emotions. His plan is to renew our hearts—giving us a heart that’s pliable in His hands (Ezekiel 36:26) so we can learn to do things His way and follow His lead. That’s not to suggest He will be like a dictator, lording over us. But with a heart captivated by our Savior, Jesus, our desires and passions will line up with what God wants for us. That is abundance of life, unexplainable peace, and unspeakable joy. 


Instead of following our own hearts, we can follow the heart of our Creator who knows what’s best for each of us in every situation. The Bible has much to say about the heart and how to maintain it. 

Here are some passages that will help us learn to follow after the heart of our Heavenly Father:


“Your word have I hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You” (Psalm 119:11 NKJV).


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5 NKJV).


“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV).


“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10 NKJV).


Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart. For they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8 NKJV).


As we observe life experiences—both ours and those of others—as well as the encouragement of Scripture, like the ones above, we know that our hearts play a major roll in where we go in life. Let’s each endeavor to do as the psalmist and seek God with our whole heart (Psalm 119:2, 10). In doing so we will be blessed and live abundantly.

Next time you yearn to follow your heart—stop! Don’t J.U.M.P. Be careful not to Justify Unhealthy Momentary Pleasure. Check in with the Holy Spirit. Inquire of God’s Word. Pray about it and follow the leading of the Lord. Ultimately, you’ll find peace and joy and not be burdened with regret. 


©Copyright 2019 Connie Wohlford

Rejoicing in Hope: First Aid for Marriage

Rejoicing in Hope: First Aid for Marriage



Do you see the progression here? Rejoicing in hope -> patient in tribulation ->  continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12).


Hope can save lives. A person without hope is at risk of suicide. A person with hope—even a glimmer—finds reason to want to go on living. 


The Hebrew word for hope is tiqvah (Strong’s 8615*), pronounced teek’-vah. Its literal meaning is cord. Its extended meaning is expectancy—something that’s longed for and eagerly anticipated. 


The scarlet cord that Rahab placed in her window was a tiqvah cord. It literally gave her and her family the hope of being rescued from death when Joshua conquered Jericho (Joshua 2:12-18).


Rahab had recognized that God was with the Jewish people and knew it would be futile, even deadly, to oppose them. Therefore, she protected and helped the Israelite spies who had come to stake out the city of Jericho. When they left her home, which was on the city wall, they instructed her to put a scarlet cord in the window. When the Israelite army approached the city, they would see the scarlet tiqvah and rescue those inside. On that infamous day, when the ancient city of Jericho fell, only Rahab and her household were spared. The walls of Jericho came tumblin down and no one else survived.


Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (NASV). 

Internet photo

Many like to relate this passage to marriage. In a marriage the husband and wife are each represented by a strand of cord and are wrapped together making a stronger two-strand cord. If they are followers of Christ and invite Him into their married life, they have a three-strand cord—Jesus being the third strand. The strength of that marriage is then supernaturally multiplied. 


In my own experience, when Jesus was invited into our marriage, its strength was multiplied. My husband was not a Christian when we got married. Yes, we were unequally yoked together and, no, I don’t recommend that kind of marriage. Our early years were filled with trials, hurt, and discontent. Many marriages would not have survived what we went through. 


Finally, when my husband got born-again, becoming a Christ follower, things changed dramatically. Jesus became the third strand in the cord that held our marriage. He brought hope and renewed love into our relationship and our home. I no longer suffered under the dark cloud of concern that our two sons would become victims of a broken home. 


Though I sincerely thought there was little hope for our marriage, I continued to hope we would make it. I remember thinking, “If something doesn’t change, a year from now we will not be together.” 


Because I knew my God, I found reason to rejoice in the small ray of hope. With God’s help, I was “patient in the tribulation.” When a friend challenged me saying, “How’s your prayer life?” I recognized it was lacking. That’s when I began to continue “steadfastly in prayer.”


It was at about that time I read the chapter titled, “Love Your Husband to Christ,” in Beverly LaHaye’s book, The Spirit-Controlled Woman. I could see that my waning love for my husband needed a boost and that my prayer life needed to intensify. For the sake of our children, I asked God to help me in both of those areas—and He did. 


It was evident to me that my love for him, which began to grow, was beyond my own capacity at that time. And that unconditional love gave me a greater unction to pray for him. In less than a year, it happened—we were no longer unequally yoked. 


If you lack hope in any area of your life, I want to ask you this question: “How’s your prayer life?” If it’s lacking, get it in gear. “The effective prayer of a righteous man (or woman) can accomplish much” (James 5:16b). [Parentheses mine]


Let the tiqvah cord from God—the hope and expectancy of good things—come into your spirit because He is well able to make a way where there seems to be no way (Isaiah 43:19).  


With Him, hope gives us the power to look up (Luke 21:28); gives us the strength to go on (Psalm 46:1-3); and makes a way when circumstances are bleak (Hosea 2:15). Follow Paul’s instructions in Romans 12, which includes rejoicing in hope, being patient in tribulation, and continuing in steadfast prayer. 


Honoring God and following godly instructions will always yield good results. I'm not saying everything will then be perfect, but the end result will be for our good. I’m sure glad I took Paul's advice over forty-five years ago. I hope you will too.


©Copyright 2019 Connie Wohlford


* “Hebrew and Chaldee Dictionary,” Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Crusade Bible Publishers, Inc., Nashville, TN - 1890, page 126.

DON’T take off your helmet when you go in your house.

DON’T take off your helmet when you go in your house.

SO WHY NOT take off my helmet? Just keep reading...

When I read and study my Bible, I’m usually focusing on a specific verse or group of verses. For instance, in my last blog post, the focus was on the armor of God, which Paul wrote about in his letter to the Ephesians (Ephesians 6:14-17). 

As I zero in on a selected passage, I also take a look at what is written before and after. This is what we call looking at a verse or group of verses in context. Looking at a phrase or sentence in context gives us a broader and more accurate sense of what the writer is trying to convey.

It’s interesting that in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, his instructions regarding the armor of God come right after his instructions regarding relationships. Have you ever noticed that?

In the verses prior, he teaches about walking in love, walking in the light of Christ and walking in wisdom (Chapter 5). He continues then, in that same chapter, to instruct regarding the marriage relationship. 

When we read all of Chapter 5 as a continuum, we see a beautiful picture of the husband and wife relationship within the body of Christ.

From there, in Chapter 6, Paul gives words of wisdom to children and to fathers in regard to child-rearing. He even addresses the relationship between the bond-servant and master. For us today, that would pertain to employee and employer. 

Then at this point in Chapter 6, Paul says, “Finally my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles (scheming, deceits) of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand the evil day, and having done all, to stand” (Ephesians 6:10-13). 

Paul then describes each implement comprising the armor of God. We addressed these in my last post. 

Consider what we have just read in verses 10-13 and again take note of its context in Paul’s letter—it immediately follows his comments about relationships.

His are strong words about serious matters—we’re talkin` demons and demonic activity!

Many of us may not have considered a need for armor when dealing with our family members. After all, they’re our most precious loved-ones. But think about it. Often the most frustration, harshest anger, most deep-seated bitterness, and deepest hurts are experienced in family relationships.

I believe we would all agree that our enemy, the devil, wants to tear apart families, especially Christian families. I’ve even heard people refer to their own home as a war zone. 

We need to recognize demonic influence and activity even within the walls of our own homes. We must put on the whole armor and war against wickedness and darkness that rises up against our spouse, ourselves, our parents and our children. 

Paul said, it’s not flesh and blood that we wrestle against, but spiritual foes that come against us in many forms.

Keeping Paul’s writing in context, let’s look also at what he stated after describing the armor. He says to pray always and to be watchful (Ephesians 6:18). 

In prayer, we cry out to the King of glory who the psalmist, David, called “the LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle” (Psalm 24:8). He is our fearless leader and our strength. He will go before us and even fight for us. Our battlefield should be on our knees.

When we are watchful, as Paul directed, we are awake, alert, and in tune to what is going on both in the physical realm and the spiritual realm. We need to guard our hearts and our tongues when battles rage. We need the help of the Holy Spirit to accomplish this. Also, the Holy Spirit can give us discernment and when we just don’t know what’s going on, we can trust that God knows ALL.

So, next time you find yourself cross-wise with a loved-one, whether it be a simple quarrel or a major brawl, step back and check yourself. Are you walking in love, in the light of Christ, and in wisdom? Are you wearing every part of the armor of God? Are you invoking the help of the King of glory and are you being watchful to be careful to handle the matter God’s way?  

 

Of course, we cannot control how the other person handles disagreements, but we can set an example and pray for that other person. God loves him or her and wants His best for them just as much as He does for us.

We may take off our clothes at the end of the day but we should never remove our armor, perhaps especially at home.

AND—don’t forget, when you read and study a passage of Scripture, check out the context in which it is used. 

If you have not read last week’s post about the whole armor of God, I invite you to do so. You’ll then have this whole message in context.

Thanks for stopping by. Your comments are welcome.

©Connie Wohlford 2016

A Greater LOVE

A Greater LOVE

Is love on your mind this week? Are you giddy just thinking about how you’ll express your love to a special someone? Or are you discouraged and lonely because there is no special someone?

If the latter best describes you, take heart and be assured that romantic love is not even the highest level of love. It’s often temporary and can leave a person with a painful hole in their heart.

Jesus brought a greater love to mankind when He gave Himself on the cross.

In Paul’s letters to first century churches he gave instructions on how church members should behave in general and how they should treat one another.

He told the Ephesians, I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, ² with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, ³ endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. ⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; ⁵ one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. ⁷ But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift (Ephesians 4:1-7 – NKJV) .

Verses 2-3 in the New Life Version state: Live and work without pride. Be gentle and kind. Do not be hard on others. Let love keep you from doing that. ³ Work hard to live together as one by the help of the Holy Spirit. Then there will be peace.

It takes effort to live in unity as a couple, a family, a church community, or any organization. When we decide not to be hard on others, we are bearing with one another in love. This is a choice.

Note that after Paul’s listing of instructions, he reminded his readers that God gives us each grace. Paul knew they (and we) cannot accomplish the directives in the previous verses without the gift of grace that comes to us from God, by His indwelling Holy Spirit.

Through God’s grace to us, we’re forgiven and accepted into His Kingdom. His grace in us gives us power to bear with one another in love, following Christ’s example. Allowing God’s grace to work in us is a choice.     

In the 5^th chapter of Ephesians, Paul told the followers of Jesus to walk in love after the example of Christ Himself. This is agape, the God kind of love.

After listing several Christ-like attributes in his letter to the Colossians Paul  wrote, And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity (Colossians 3:14).

Can you see it—love the perfect bond of unity? Love is the superglue which holds a marriage together; holds a family together; holds a church community together; even holds a business together. What other entities can you list which are held together with the bond of love? 

When asked what the greatest commandment is, “Jesus answered, ‘The foremost is, HEAR O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD; “and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” ³¹The second is this, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these’” (Mark 12:29-31).

 

 

Three things will last forever−faith, hope, and love−and the greatest of these is love.  

1 Corinthians 13:13

 

Let’s ask God to give us grace to love the way Jesus loved,

letting agape love rule in our hearts and be evident in our actions.

©Connie Wohlford 2016